sailorfailures:

my anaconda don’t

fangdecay:

captainamericaisavirgin:

benmclemore:

somebody DO SOMETHING

i’ve added this before but this is the most important story that i have
this was published in the vancouver sun like 2 years ago, and i remember reading the paper after class while my sister was watching tv or something, and i burst out laughing when i read the headline. and so im tell her to look, and show her the article and she says “what’s a rim job” and my dad looked up at me and we held eye contact for like. a whole minute and we just had a terrible moment where he knew that i knew what a rim job was, and i knew that he knew what a rim job was and now that’s a reality that we have to face together

that commentary was beautiful

fangdecay:

captainamericaisavirgin:

benmclemore:

somebody DO SOMETHING

i’ve added this before but this is the most important story that i have

this was published in the vancouver sun like 2 years ago, and i remember reading the paper after class while my sister was watching tv or something, and i burst out laughing when i read the headline. and so im tell her to look, and show her the article and she says “what’s a rim job” and my dad looked up at me and we held eye contact for like. a whole minute and we just had a terrible moment where he knew that i knew what a rim job was, and i knew that he knew what a rim job was and now that’s a reality that we have to face together

that commentary was beautiful

(Source: seanorr, via ghostdrive)

frenchoverture:

Those two comments made my day.

(Source: haydnberg, via ghostdrive)

jr-abraxas:

ktnissevurdeen:

buttalecki:

what do you do at hogwarts if you start your period? 

like do you go and see madam promfrey? or your head of year? because i’m just trying to imagine the slytherin girls going snape and asking for tampons

image

I do not have the power within me to not reblog this. 

(via merelyn)

monk-of-space:

a motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual norse monarchs: the bikings

(via maybegee)

Tags: yes good puns

leafsfeelings:

fuck-benedict:

maplehoofs:

fuck-benedict:

I JUST WANTED TO SING THE ALPHABET I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS

Ironically, what you wanted instead was the D.

get
out


joining this website was among my finest life decisions.

leafsfeelings:

fuck-benedict:

maplehoofs:

fuck-benedict:

I JUST WANTED TO SING THE ALPHABET I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS

Ironically, what you wanted instead was the D.

get

out

joining this website was among my finest life decisions.

dutchster:

as a serial killer my name would be the suspense so my victims would be like “oh no, the suspense is killing me” and we would both laugh right before i killed them

(via psikeval)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

i love the term “bear with me” because it could mean either 1 of 2 things:

  • asking someone to be patient
  • confirmation that the zoo heist was a success

(via maybegee)

riesshistoria:

are lesbian mermaids called h2omosexuals

(Source: idolyuri, via clintbartons)

blackcaliente:

i guess you could call this
a moist owlet

blackcaliente:

i guess you could call this

a moist owlet

(Source: addedias, via ghostdrive)

Tags: omg puns owls

brady-scott:

comes with sub-woofers

brady-scott:

comes with sub-woofers

(Source: permabliss, via ghostdrive)

smartgirlsattheparty:

Some days you just need a little cat love ;)

(Source: spiltsoymilk, via ghostdrive)

Tags: adorbs cats puns

reitone:

reitone:

french people are so hardcore they eat pain for breakfast

this pun was wasted on you all

(Source: illegalbot, via jebiwonkenobi)

homosexual-titan:

ratchet-heichou:

ratchet-heichou:

what do you call your upperclassman who likes math

sen3.14

FUCK THIS JOKE

(Source: shoujo-prince, via eeames)

Tags: omg puns